Use the appropriate scoring rubric in the development of your essay. Notice the significantly revised text is in red in the example below. After consultation, the second submission has improvements in theme and scope (e.g., the addition of Sparta, the Roman pantheon...). The introduction and conclusion were improved by maintaining a cohesive thesis. Minor adjustments in grammar, syntax, mechanics, and spelling enhance the understanding of the essay. Concise expression is better than rambling details. Links to write better essays are provided. The essay may be further improved if Rit Nosotro would provide an example of one of the "capricious deities" of Rome. There are links related to the final essay.
Use the appropriate scoring rubric in the development of your essay. Notice the significantly revised text is in red in the example below. After consultation, the second submission has improvements in theme and scope (e.g., the addition of Sparta, the Roman pantheon...). The introduction and conclusion were improved by maintaining a cohesive thesis. Minor adjustments in grammar, syntax, mechanics, and spelling enhance the understanding of the essay. Concise expression is better than rambling details. Links to write better essays are provided. The essay may be further improved if Rit Nosotro would provide an example of one of the "capricious deities" of Rome. There are links related to the final essay.
| Comparative Essay Aztec Sports vs. Roman Sports Some countries used sports to worship their god's, for example Greece offered praises and sacrifice to Zeus before they started their Olympic games. The Romans did their games for the amusement and pleasure of watching the blood. Aztecs did their games for the same reason as Greeks did, to honor their god's. Compare the sports of two of the following cultures. Blood and gore is all Romans cared for their sports, they cared for only slashing, staving, and crushing up bodies. Romans were violent people when it came to the kind of sports they played. The Roman Empire was a big one, perhaps one of the biggest empires. Usually out of power, and strength comes corruption out of an empire. That is what accured to the Roman people, that’s what occurs to us when we sin. One drop of sin corrupts us all over. Their sports also became corrupt and bloody. Their main sport was Gladiators, gladiators were usually slaves which were captured, owed debts, or prisoners. Most of these slaves were trained to kill, to anhalliate their enemies. They were trained to give the crowds amusement. That’s what the purpose of Roman sports was. Gladiators were given few weapons. They were given a sword to stave their opponent and make him bleed to death. Shields so they could protect themselves from flying arrows or slashes that were shot directly towards them to cause harm. Gladiators meant pride usually. A gladiator would gain his pride through out Rome, reaching up to the point that they would go to the Coliseums for their fights. A gladiator had to gain the crowds respect for him to survive if the crowds loved him they would ask for their lives to be spared. They had various ways for showing sings of mercy either by the crowd raising their thumbs for the desire of death. Putting their thumbs down for the spare of life. Commodes a famous emperor went as a gladiator to try to get his respect from the crowd as an emperor. Gladiator was their main sport. Their sport did not honor any god or anything religious. It was plain entertainment. Their entertainment was watching Gladiators plea for their mercy or die. Aztec was one of the most civilized in Central America. Aztec’s played sports also, their sports were like today’s sports. Except they were a lot more difficult. Their sports, were similar to soccer, basketball, and baseball. Aztecs mostly played a sport called Tachli this sport was like basketball. It had a few differences, they didn’t have a basketball hoop. They had a concrete ring where their purpose was to pass a rubber ball through it. Aztecs sports were always dedicated to their god’s.Tachtli was a sport believed to be that the god’s played. The stadium they played in was supposedly heaven. Their god’s would play with the stars and enjoy their time. This sport was designed in honor of their god’s. Every time a player would make a “goal” he was allowed to take a piece of clothes from all the audience. That was the bad thing about being in the audience. Some of the people of the audience would disappear before their clothes were taken away. Basically Aztecs sport were made to honor their god’s and a symbolism of wanting to be like them. As you can tell there is a very big difference between Roman sports and Aztec sports. Romans decided to have their sports for amusement and to just watch the blood and gore and body parts go flying across the coliseum. Aztecs had their sports for amusement but at the same time it was a way to honor their god’s. It was a symbolism of wanting to be like their gods. |
Comparative Essay Aztec Sports vs. Roman Sports Sports have often been interconnected with religion, for example, Greece offered praises and sacrifice to Zeus before they started their Olympic games. Aztecs played ball to honor their gods, whereas, the amusement of Roman bloodsports were a related to their pantheon of capricious deities. Compare the religious significance of the sports of two of the following
cultures: Spartan power had crushed Athenian intelligence and beauty. Philosophers were out, fighters were in. As Rome rose to power on the same Italian peninsula, the violence of Romus and Romulas gave rise to the Colosseum of live slasher sports. Like Sparta, Romans held physical strength in high admiration and their sports reflected this violence. The Roman Empire was the most expansive and powerful empire of its time. Out of absolute power grew absolute corruption. Unchecked sin, whether political or physical, grows to corrupt the whole body. That is what occurred to the Roman people. Their corrupt and bloody gladiator sports abused slaves which were captured in battle or imprisoned as debtors. Most of these slaves were trained to annihilate their enemies, and later Christian martyrs who refused to bow in worship of the Emperor. Gladiators were trained to give the crowd amusement or die. To prolong the spectacle, gladiators were given few weapons. A sword to make their opponent bleed to death and a shield for protection. If a gladiator gained popularity throughout Rome, he might go to the Colosseum for his fights. A gladiator had to gain the crowd's respect in order to survive. If the crowds fancied him they might ask for his life to be spared by raising their thumbs. Putting their thumbs down for the desire of death. Their entertainment was in watching Gladiators plea for their mercy or die. Arising from the religious glorification of physical prowess, one famous emperor, Comodus, went as a gladiator to try and win respect from his subjects. [The movie "Gladiator" kills Comodus only a year into his actual twenty year reign.] Although Roman sport did not honor any particular god, it was a reflection of a capricious pantheon of deities. It was a crude entertainment of an amoral society which glorified carnage much like the virtual video slaughter games of today. Sparta continues to triumph over Athens. The Aztecs were hardly more civilized. Central Mexican sports of old were far more challenging than what we have today. Aztecs played a sport called Tachli that was a little like basketball and soccer. It had differences, for example, their "basketball hoop" was a vertically hung stone ring. Their "basketball" was a heavy solid rubber ball. Aztecs believed Tachtli was the sport their gods played with the stars in the stadium of the heavens. Tachtli was replicated on earth in honor of the gods. The winning team was allowed to take any possession from the spectators. The people of the audience would quickly escape before their clothes were taken away. Worse than being in the audience, was being on the losing team. They were sacrificed. Aztec sports, like Tachtli, were made to honor and imitate Aztec gods. Roman and Aztec sports were not all that different in that losing players were killed. Whether to incite the Roman throng, or please the Aztec gods, death was carried out before an audience accustomed to blood. Violent bloodshed was the common factor in these Roman and Aztec sports. How do people living worlds apart have such tragic commonalties? It is the result of false religion. Both cultures designed their deities to suit their political and moral aims. |
A more detailed example of a revision in process is the "Introduction to Europe" MS Word document which you may download. The thesis of an essay may also be changed as was done to a formerly Calvinistic attitude toward Islam and another essay which originally had much less support for Israel's right to nuclear weapons.
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